This is an amateur, non-commercial story, which is not produced, approved of, or in any way sponsored by the holders of the trademarks/copyrights from which this work is derived, nor is it intended to infringe on the rights of these holders. And so it goes.



A Eureka tale by Jeff Morris



It began with a candlelight dinner. There was gourmet food, a few glasses of wine, intimate conversation, and a crème Brule to die for. It followed up by the fireplace with more conversation, a few more glasses of wine, a long embrace, and seven minute kisses. From there it was up to the bedroom and the commencement of that sweet, familiar dance that never lost its luster.

Allison’s fingers moved up Nathan’s back, her nails just barely raking his back until reaching the edge of his hairline. She loved the feel of his body against hers, not so much pressing her down but surrounding her with its presence and warmth. His lips nuzzled her neck and cheek as they moved together in that ageless rhythm, staying in synch even as the tempo slowly increased toward the incredible, inevitable resolution.

Nathan chuckled as he did that thing that never failed to send shivers up her spine. Allison’s back arched and a long, soft moan filled the air. Oh, she loved these moments, this incredible intimacy. Lost in the pleasure, Allison’s eyes flickered open as she felt things building up…

…and beheld the biggest damn spider she’d ever seen in her life dangling from the ceiling on a collision path with her face. She gasped in surprise, but Nathan took that as a signal to continue doing what he was doing (and normally that would be just fine with her, but at the moment her attention was definitely diverted).

“Nathan,” she said softly but urgently. “Nathan…god, Nathan…”

Mmmmm,” he murmured, attacking that little spot along her neck that never failed to please. Meanwhile the spider was continuing to make its slow, lazy way south, getting closer and closer with every passing second.

“Jesus!” she cried, struggling to get out from under him, but with a dirty chuckle Nathan reached out and pinned her securely against the bed. “Oh no, you naughty girl,” he muttered into her ear. “I’m keeping you right where I want you, Ally.”

“Nathan!” she cried, motioning frantically with her head. “Nathan, goddammit! Right there! Right there!”

Oh, you like that, hmmm?” He continued his thrusts. “Right there it is!”

“Oh, shit! Dammit, Nathan, you son of a bitch…” The damn thing had changed course and was now heading directly for the top of his head, and there was nothing Allison could do about it. And of course he just had to say, “Yeah, yeah, talk dirty to me, Ally!”

“Get off! Get off!”

“Oh yeah, oh yeah…you too! You too!” Oh no. Allison recognized the signs: the increasing pace, the really weird grunting that kept building in volume, and then Nathan’s head abruptly snapped back and the grunt became a victory cry.

A few seconds later, he rolled off her with a satisfied grunt and Allison sprang into action. She grabbed his copy of A Brief History of Time (the one with his personal annotations and snarky observations scribbled in the margins) from the nightstand, took aim at the last known location of the spider, and launched a brutal attack. “OW! OW! OW! ALLY, FOR CHRIST’S SAKE, WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?” he bellowed, clearly confused over this sudden change of events.

“IT’S IN YOUR HAIR, DAMMIT!” A quick examination of the back cover indicated that the thing might not yet be dead, so she prepared to resume the bombardment, but Nathan managed to grab her arm and put a stop to things. Wincing, he ran his free hand through his hair and sure enough, the little critter tumbled lifelessly to the mattress. Allison scooted back immediately, book poised to strike if necessary.

“What…?” Nathan (oh my god) reached down and picked the carcass up. “A spider?” he declared. “You got all worked up over a little spider?”


It began with a candlelight dinner.

It ended with Nathan Stark sleeping on the couch.