This is an amateur, non-commercial story, which is not produced, approved of, or in any way sponsored by the holders of the trademarks/copyrights from which this work is derived, nor is it intended to infringe on the rights of these holders. And so it goes.


PINKY AND THE BRAIN-GER

A Pinky & The Brain/Power Rangers Tale
(yeah, I'm having a hard time believing it, too)
by Jeff Morris




"Kim, I don't know about this," Tommy said reluctantly. "I mean, Billy and his folks are gone. What if one of the neighbors sees us and calls the police?"

"Come on, Tommy," Kimberly said, tugging impatiently at her boyfriend's arm. "I told Billy we'd check the house every so often. He said it was okay if we used the pool!" She pulled her reluctant partner through the garage that also served as their friend's laboratory. Within its shadowy depths, two tiny eyes watched with keen excitement and anticipation.

"Yeah," Tommy replied as he shut the door behind them. "But I don't think he had a midnight skinny-dip in mind." He turned around to find Kimberly peeling her clothes off. "Kim...!"

"Oh, like, come on, Tommy. Live a little! Take some chances!" She posed provocatively in front of him. "Isn't this worth a little adventure?" It must have been, because seconds later he was all but ripping his clothing off and following her to the back door which led to the pool.

"At last!" cried a tiny, foreboding voice, which came from one of the two white mice standing inside a wire cage on the work bench. "They've played perfectly into my hands!" The mouse who was speaking rubbed his little hands with evil anticipation. "Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"

The other mouse, taller and skinnier than his companion, scratched his head in contemplation. "Gee, Brain, I think so, but spandex cuts off my circulation!"

The Brain slowly turned around and faced his partner. "Pinky, if you continue this, I shall have to hurt you." Then an evil smile stretched across his mousy features. "They've left their clothing on the floor, Pinky. That includes their morphing devices! We shall take them and transform ourselves into Rodent Rangers, and use the awesome powers at our command to take over the world!"

"NARF!" Pinky exclaimed, jumping up and down with mindless glee. "Gee, Brain, you certainly have it all worked out, don't you?"

"Of course I do," the Brain said as he picked the cage lock with a bent paper clip; seconds later, the lock fell off and the door swung open. "Child's play for one of my intelligence. Now, Pinky--we shall descend to the floor and purloin the morphers. I will take the Green Ranger's; you will have the Pink Ranger's."

"Oh, happy day! ZORT!" Pinky dashed forward to the edge of the bench; unfortunately, in his haste and zeal he accidentally bumped into the Brain, who had been peering over the edge and calculating the easiest way down. The roundish rodent flailed his arms around wildly in a futile effort to regain his balance, then tumbled to the concrete floor and hit with a soft thud.

"Brain?" Pinky asked as he slid down the front right leg of the bench.

The Brain slowly rose to his feet. "Remind me to pummel you with my fists when we have taken over the world," he said quietly to his partner. They hurried over to the two piles of clothing on the floor and rummaged about.

"So Brain," Pinky said as he pressed a segment of Kimberly's blouse against his chest. "How did you know they'd come here?"

"A simple deduction," the Brain replied, poking around Tommy's blue jeans. Finding nothing, he crept over to the green gym bag which lay nearby, unzipped it, and slipped inside. "Given the factors of parental absence and teenage hormonal impulses, it was obvious that sooner or later the female would attempt to lure the male over her and seduce him." There was a soft "clink" followed by the Brain's cry of triumph. "Pinky! I have the morpher! Have you found hers yet?"

Pinky lifted the brassiere off his head and scurried over to Kimberly's jeans, where the morpher lay amid the back pockets. "Got it, Brain! ZORT!"

"Very good, Pinky." With a great deal of grunting and straining, the Brain managed to push Tommy's morpher out of the gym bag. "Now then, Pinky, do you know what to do?"

"Right I do," the ditzy mouse declared merrily. "NARF!"

"Then grab the morpher and call out the Pink Ranger's totem!" the Brain cried, then took a deep breath. "DRAGONZORD!"

Pinky lifted Kimberly's morpher. "PRETTY BIRDIE! NARF!"

There was a brief flash of light which lit up the room; when it had subsided, two minuscule Power Rangers stood on the floor, each garbed in tight spandex and helmets which had conveniently-placed slits for their rodent ears. The Brain examined his green garb and chuckled menacingly beneath his mask. "It worked, Pinky!" he exclaimed. "We now have the powers of the Power Rangers! Victory is within our grasp!"

Pinky was looking down at himself and dancing in small circles. "Oh, look, Brain, look! I have a pretty pink dress to go with my outfit! NARF!" He looked over at his emerald-garbed leader. "So...what do we do now, Brain?"

The Brain was standing by the garage door; with a series of kicks and punches he had managed to create a hole large enough for them to slip through. Once outside, he grabbed an odd-looking dagger from the side of his belt and studied it intently. "You will do nothing, Pinky. Your pterodactyl is all but useless to my master plan. But I...I have control of the most powerful Zord of them all! And all I need do is summon him...thusly!" The Brain lifted the dagger to his mask and somehow managed to blow into it. A series of notes rang through the night air.

"Gee, Brain, that certainly is pretty!" Pinky declared, then for once a sobering thought shot through his head. "But...won't Kimberly and Tommy hear that and come see what's happening?"

"Two naked teenagers in close proximity? Don't be ridiculous," the Brain scoffed. He took a deep breath and played the notes again.

* * * * *

Deep beneath the ocean whose waters lapped the shores of Angel Grove, the Dragonzord stood waiting for the call and thinking. Perhaps it thought about its past battles and glorious victories. Perhaps it thought about its place in the universe. Perhaps it thought about how good a big bowl of Purina Zord Chow would taste. No one would ever know.

The call came. The Dragonzord began to move, then paused momentarily. It didn't sound quite right. But seconds later, it came again, and this time the mighty zord heeded the command, slowly clambering toward the surface and its master--the Green Ranger.

Maybe it would have time to grab some Zord Chow on the way back...

* * * * *

The Brain stared in awe at the massive construct that stood before him, waiting for his next command. "You see, Pinky?" he cried out, excitement rushing through his massive cranium. "The Dragonzord obeys my every wish! With my matchless intelligence and its unbeatable powers, I shall quickly become the Ruler of Earth!"

"Oh, Brain!" Pinky yelped, dancing back and forth on his hind paws. He desperately wanted to call his Pretty Birdie and have it come as well, but he didn't quite know how to do it, and his friend hadn't bothered to tell him. "Gee, Brain," he continued. "May I play with him for a minute? May I?"

"Don't be foolish," the Brain snapped. "This is not a toy. This is a massive engine of destruction, a monolith of unstoppable...PINKY!" To his horror, Pinky had grabbed the Dragon Dagger and was putting it up to his lips. "PINKY! NO!"

Taking a deep breath, Pinky played a quick rendition of "Turkey in the Straw" on the dagger.

And the Dragonzord began to dance a wild fandango.

With the Brain directly underneath.

* * * * *

"Tommy?" Kimberly opened her eyes, sat up, and looked around. "You hear something?"

"Yeah!" he said, standing up and hurrying to the garage door. They rushed out to the front of the house and stared in amazement at the sight of the Dragonzord standing before them. "Huh?" Tommy declared. "How did he get here?"

"I don't know!" Kim spotted something metallic glittering in the moonlight. "Hey, Tommy! Our morphers are out here! And so's your dagger!"

"Wow!" He picked up the Dragon Dagger and examined it carefully. "You think Rita sent some putties to steal the stuff?"

"Must have," Kimberly replied. "And they must have tried to use the stuff and accidentally called him."

"Well, I'd better send him back." Tommy blew a quick series of notes; the Dragonzord grumbled something under his breath, then turned around and stomped away. "That ought to do it."

"Weird," Kim declared, then realized that they were standing naked in the front year. "Like, Tommy, maybe we'd better get dressed and get out of here, okay?"

"Sounds good." They hurried back into the garage and slipped back into their clothes, never noticing the pair of lab mice, who were back in their cage and watching them--one of them, anyway. The other looked like he'd been smacked several times with a sledgehammer.

"Gee Brain," Pinky said as he watched the humans leave. "That was close! Are you all right?"

"I am in intense pain," the Brain groaned softly. "But I shall recover from my wounds in time for tomorrow night."

"Tomorrow night?" Pinky asked blankly. "What are we going to do then?"

"The same thing we do every night, Pinky," the Brain replied. "Try to take over the world!"

They're dinky...they're Pinky and the Brain Brain Brain Brain Brain!